Category Archives: Uncategorized

People Network

GangCubaIn computer networks, connectivity is key.  If your computer is not connected to a network, you are pretty limited.  The amount you can do is generally proportional to the nodes you can talk to.  This is the beauty and power of the internet.  Our work and personal lives are the same. We need people around us, some close and some farther away, to do great things.

Sure, there have been solitary geniuses who have made great impacts on the world, but even they had parents, mentors, nemeses and people surrounding them who amplified their work to the point we know of it today.  These are exceptions though.  We need our social networks, virtual and, more importantly, in reality.  The people who surround us make us better.  The magical synergies you hear about?  They are real.  Of course, it is very important to be somewhat selective about who you let in to the circle of trust.  Simon Sinek talks about this at length in his books.  And, if Jim Rohn is right and you are the average of the five people you surround yourself with, it is worth taking a few minutes, at the very least, trying to figure out who that should be.

Personally, I have only a few close friends, but keep thinking about how to broaden my circle.  I work remotely a lot of the time and know that I need to take advantage of the myriad meet-ups, neighbourhood activities and conferences that pop up.  Also, being a good neighbour and having a drink with the people that live around me would be a good thing as well.  I won’t get in to the culture of ignoring those in the next house that seems to be pervasive in suburbia, but I am at a loss to explain why we live so closely if we don’t want anything to do with being part of the collective.  It is bizarre.  Overall, I think we have lots of opportunity and need to take the time to be part of the community.  There are more benefits to the social aspect than what we get from simply paying our municipal taxes.  The opportunities abound, but we need to make the leap in to them with a broad smile and open mind.

Next, social media is a great builder / maintainer of bridges.  Facebook brought me back in touch with my now fiancée and also with friends from childhood that bring a lot in to my life.  Sure, you can sit back and be a Facebook voyeur or chronic complainer, but those are the interactions to avoid.  More rare are the positive people who bring value to your life.  Those are the keepers.  They make you think differently and creatively.  They make your life better.  While most will use social media to stay informed and try to drink from the fire hose, which I am guilty of myself, they could do better to focus their attention and start to make a difference for themselves and others.  I admit, this is not an easy thing to do with the massive amount of content being delivered and our limited number of hours in a day.  That is why we should be selective and try to limit our choices.  I know, this is heresy.  Choice is good!  But it isn’t always good.  It distracts us from ever getting in to subjects at depth, where we can create value.  Our focus is a limited resource and the quicker we realize that and work with it, the more we will be able to do.

Bottom line, take a minute to think.  Take a minute to realize who is around you and what they bring to the table.  If they take more than they bring, maybe it is time to assess why you keep giving them your time and energy.  Then, you can look around and see if you can bring more to others’ table.  That is the relationship you want and will make life so much better for everyone and enable you to make your own dent in the universe.

Funny Love

Heart

This morning, I woke up with these two words floating in my head: Funny Love.  Yes, I decided that whatever was in my head when I woke up would be what I write about today.   Perhaps not the most thought out idea in the world…

First, I asked my 10 year old daughter what those words made her think of.  Her response was a typically pre-teen “I don’t know”.  I think she knows but doesn’t want to tell me.  She is smarter than that, but, in her defense, she was eating breakfast and still half asleep.  I will ask her again later.  …  Ok, it’s later.  She says it’s “someone who likes someone for something, but then he likes someone else and ends up not knowing who he wants”.  Yep, that’s pretty funny.  Not in a ha-ha kind of way, but in a “figure it out cowboy!” kind of way. Funny love is confusing.

Talking to her, it made me think of the silly things I have done to make her laugh in the middle of the grocery store that were just for her.  I didn’t care what other people thought of my weird singing and dancing in the pasta aisle.  It was for my three, four or five year old.  (Yes, this went on for a while. I am sure the grocery store employees saw me coming and focused the security cameras on me every time.)  This is what we do for the people we love.  We ignore everyone else and do things just for them.  Even if they would seem completely insane without the other person around.  Funny love is focused caring.

Then, I started thinking about my relationship.  I say and do some weird shit if they are taken without context, but to my significant other, they make complete sense.  They make her laugh, either because she finds it funny or just because she thinks I may indeed be a little crazy, and that makes it worth it.  To see your loved ones smile and laugh, that is where the gold is hidden.  Funny love is closeness.

Oh, and it turns out that laughter is a natural pain reliever.  It releases endorphins, the same way as exercise, runner’s high for example, which reduce your perception of pain.  So, if you happen to sprain your ankle and someone tells you to walk it off, maybe you would be better laughing it off.  Seems more fun anyway!  If funny reduces pain, then why not pair it with your love?  Funny love is more comfortable.

Whether it is confusing, caring, closeness or comfort, put some funny in your love.

PS: Thanks to The Graphics Fairy for the cool image of a heart.  🙂

 

 

 

Book

I really need to continue writing that book about our views on work and how it should be more than “just a pay check”. Motivational speakers talk about working with passion and it won’t feel like work. I realize this is not always possible, but we should at least TRY! I am tired of reading Twitter feeds, Facebook statuses and emails about how people hate their job and TGIF. Do something about it! See it differently! Make a change!

More to come. I wouldn’t want to reveal ALL my ideas for a book! 😉

Stay interested and interesting!

John

Values

I have been reading a lot about people’s values and have been tempted to call “bullshit” quite a few times.  Some like to bandy about values that include pride (A capital sin…), family and honesty.

First, pride is a sin for a reason and is often misinterpreted.  If you feel pride in something a friend or child does, what does that say about the rest of their actions?  Does that mean you don’t have that feeling all the time?  It is better to be pleased or happy about something.  I am very pleased when my daughter is polite and says please and thank you.  I am happy when she does well at soccer.  Having pride would be to live vicariously through her actions as if I am 100% responsible for her personality and actions.  I am but the guide, she is the actor.

Second, family is thrown around as an excuse and always talked up.  I agree that family is important if you have a great relationship with them and there is unconditional love.   Otherwise, they can do more harm than good.  We really need to work on the proper definition of family and people have to step up to the responsibility associated with being a family member.  I love my family and am very glad to have them around.  I admit that I am not always the best family member based on my own definition.  I know I can do better, but then I don’t preach to others what they should be doing or how the can be better.

Third, honesty is spoken about by many, but practiced by few.  There is value in diplomacy and tact.  I would love to hear people say what they mean and mean what they say.  I am sometimes disappointed with people who make commitments then back out because their mood has changed.  If you said you would go, GO!  If you said you would take care of something, take care of it!  I understand people forgetting sometimes (I am a pretty bad offender with memory…), but to intentionally cancel without a good reason is just mean and disingenuous.  I also abhor deliberately hiding information and feelings.  All it does is sow the seeds of discontent with each other.

In conclusion, be pleased, not proud, know your family and love them, be open and honest, don’t lie or hid information.  I hope I don’t sound like I am preaching, but simply stating what I think.  🙂

Stay interested and interesting!

John

Need vacation

I don’t really feel sick, but I feel like feeling sick.  It seems to be a good door out for the day.  I think I need a vacation!

I am very rarely sick.  Usually about once a year.  It is that time of year again, but physically I am still ok.  Also, my ingrained work ethic keeps from taking frivolous days off willy nilly.  I think this is a good thing overall, but it is a little frustrating and difficult to be so virtuous.  Not that I am a paragon of virtue…  😉

Now, I get to try and motivate myself to keep working, which is really not all that hard.  I have a new project to work on and lots to learn.  That alone should keep me going for a while!  I just want to try and change the culture around me, which may or may not be impossible.  We will see!

Also, my entrepreneurial spirit is still gnawing away at the back of my brain.  I have to figure out a productive outlet for it that I can sustain in the time and financial limits I have…

Enough rant today…

Stay interested and interesting!

John

Merry Christmas

A few days late, but I was busy with a 3yr old!!  I hope everyone has had a great Christmas.  Ready for the New Year’s Eve party?  Woot!

Oh, you should really try hitting the random article link on Wikipedia.  It has some weird stuff on there!

Stay interested and interesting!

John

Football

There is something about Sunday afternoon, a cold beer and football that just makes me happy. I love to sit and watch great athletes battle on the gridiron. Simply amazing. Love it!

Stay interested and interesting!

John

Debates – Mine, not those…

I love sparking debates and seeing who answers the call.  My last post was a picture of PC vs. MAC.  It would seem that few subjects can plant the seed of passionate debate as well as this can.  Only politics, religion and money, with the possible exception of cars, can incite flame wars and derogatory comments more.

The people who respond usually fall in to two categories, the informed and the uniformed.  Funny thing with the Facebook era though is that many people fall back on to their public personas and behaviors, choosing to stay silent lest they appear foolish.  It is really too bad that they do not venture to explore the subject and express an opinion, whichever side it may reside on.  I feel that too many people slide by in the manner at work and in life.  Stand up for your beliefs!  They are your truth after all.  🙂

Stay interested and interesting!

John

My Past Fear of Writing and Public Speaking

Some would have you believe that there is nothing to fear, but fear itself. Maybe they are right. For the rest of us, we have our rational and irrational fears that sometimes paralyze us and other times motivate us to improve. I was thinking about my formative years (crap! I am getting old…) and particularly about high school. I had fears of having to write more than two hundred and fifty words at once and, like 99.9% of all angst filled teenagers, a great fear of public speaking.

I have always read quite a bit, but before I finished high school, I was not what you would call a prolific writer by any means. Any assignment that required me to write more than a page was pure torture. I spent more time figuring out how I could possibly fill a page and less about the subject I was supposed to be writing about. Generally, this resulted in less than inspiring treatises on uninspiring subjects like my love for basketball or football. These are certainly noble athletic pursuits and I am still a fanatic today, but, in high school, we had not yet developed the philosophical view of the hardwood or the gridiron. Through college, I learned to structure my writing a little better and moved to longer endeavors, though the fear was still there.

My breakthrough in writing came during my work life. I found myself finally realizing that most people have no idea where to start and can not string together the few sentences in an email. To find someone who can write with clarity was a difficult task. It was from this realization that I starting practicing the creative writing techniques I had learned in college and finally all the lessons I had learned all came together and it dawned on me: I can write! Though I will let you be the judge of just how well… 😉

Public speaking was a fear that followed a parallel line to writing. If I was given five minutes to talk, I needed A LOT of filler. I was petrified to be in front of the class and say something stupid. I needed the approval of my peers. All the while, I failed to notice that most other people were just as afraid, or more, than I was. What’s more, not many people were any better than I was.

Once I started working, I had an epiphany. These skills, writing and speaking, are the key to success for many people and they are in short supply. I knew I had to improve and would force myself to practice whenever I could. My mantra would no longer be about filling time, but cutting back because I had too much to say. I would become the voice for those that could not find theirs. I would ask the questions everyone else had on their mind, but did not have the courage to utter. I would become the hero to the teeming masses! Ok, now I am getting carried away… 😉

Through all my trials and tribulations, I figured out that most people are not even willing to try. They back away and figure they will never be able to do it. They are afraid of looking stupid and what other people may think. My attitude changed first to defiance. I was angry about what other people thought and would prove them wrong. I was there to be better than any of them. It helped that I already had a good job and could console myself with the fact that I probably made double the money any of my classmates earned. Another argument I could pull out if backed in to a corner.

Finally, I saw that defiance was not what should be motivating me. I knew that I wanted to improve myself so that I could have more influence. I wanted to be the person people listened to and realized they would not do so through my force of will alone. They needed a reason and craved clarity and honesty. This brings us to the present day. I no longer fear writing or speaking in public. Preparation and knowledge are my allies, and very strong ones they are. Give me twenty minutes to speak and I will ask “is that all?”. Ask for fifteen pages and I will ask if I can have twenty. Just in case a clever idea comes up. I don’t need to prove to others that I am better than them anymore. I just need to prove it to myself.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. But know that I will keep writing, even if you didn’t. 🙂

Stay interested and interesting!

John

PS: For those of you counting, there are 800 words in this post. There is nothing to fear.