Tag Archives: family

Funny Love

Heart

This morning, I woke up with these two words floating in my head: Funny Love.  Yes, I decided that whatever was in my head when I woke up would be what I write about today.   Perhaps not the most thought out idea in the world…

First, I asked my 10 year old daughter what those words made her think of.  Her response was a typically pre-teen “I don’t know”.  I think she knows but doesn’t want to tell me.  She is smarter than that, but, in her defense, she was eating breakfast and still half asleep.  I will ask her again later.  …  Ok, it’s later.  She says it’s “someone who likes someone for something, but then he likes someone else and ends up not knowing who he wants”.  Yep, that’s pretty funny.  Not in a ha-ha kind of way, but in a “figure it out cowboy!” kind of way. Funny love is confusing.

Talking to her, it made me think of the silly things I have done to make her laugh in the middle of the grocery store that were just for her.  I didn’t care what other people thought of my weird singing and dancing in the pasta aisle.  It was for my three, four or five year old.  (Yes, this went on for a while. I am sure the grocery store employees saw me coming and focused the security cameras on me every time.)  This is what we do for the people we love.  We ignore everyone else and do things just for them.  Even if they would seem completely insane without the other person around.  Funny love is focused caring.

Then, I started thinking about my relationship.  I say and do some weird shit if they are taken without context, but to my significant other, they make complete sense.  They make her laugh, either because she finds it funny or just because she thinks I may indeed be a little crazy, and that makes it worth it.  To see your loved ones smile and laugh, that is where the gold is hidden.  Funny love is closeness.

Oh, and it turns out that laughter is a natural pain reliever.  It releases endorphins, the same way as exercise, runner’s high for example, which reduce your perception of pain.  So, if you happen to sprain your ankle and someone tells you to walk it off, maybe you would be better laughing it off.  Seems more fun anyway!  If funny reduces pain, then why not pair it with your love?  Funny love is more comfortable.

Whether it is confusing, caring, closeness or comfort, put some funny in your love.

PS: Thanks to The Graphics Fairy for the cool image of a heart.  🙂

 

 

 

Values

I have been reading a lot about people’s values and have been tempted to call “bullshit” quite a few times.  Some like to bandy about values that include pride (A capital sin…), family and honesty.

First, pride is a sin for a reason and is often misinterpreted.  If you feel pride in something a friend or child does, what does that say about the rest of their actions?  Does that mean you don’t have that feeling all the time?  It is better to be pleased or happy about something.  I am very pleased when my daughter is polite and says please and thank you.  I am happy when she does well at soccer.  Having pride would be to live vicariously through her actions as if I am 100% responsible for her personality and actions.  I am but the guide, she is the actor.

Second, family is thrown around as an excuse and always talked up.  I agree that family is important if you have a great relationship with them and there is unconditional love.   Otherwise, they can do more harm than good.  We really need to work on the proper definition of family and people have to step up to the responsibility associated with being a family member.  I love my family and am very glad to have them around.  I admit that I am not always the best family member based on my own definition.  I know I can do better, but then I don’t preach to others what they should be doing or how the can be better.

Third, honesty is spoken about by many, but practiced by few.  There is value in diplomacy and tact.  I would love to hear people say what they mean and mean what they say.  I am sometimes disappointed with people who make commitments then back out because their mood has changed.  If you said you would go, GO!  If you said you would take care of something, take care of it!  I understand people forgetting sometimes (I am a pretty bad offender with memory…), but to intentionally cancel without a good reason is just mean and disingenuous.  I also abhor deliberately hiding information and feelings.  All it does is sow the seeds of discontent with each other.

In conclusion, be pleased, not proud, know your family and love them, be open and honest, don’t lie or hid information.  I hope I don’t sound like I am preaching, but simply stating what I think.  🙂

Stay interested and interesting!

John

Honesty

Honestly, I like to think of myself as honest.  I like to believe that I tell it like it is in a diplomatic way.  Being honest doesn’t mean you’ re an ass, it means you are truthful and open.  That being said, I know I have my flaws with honesty.

There are certain situations when politics comes in to play and we need to back up the team, tow the line or simply play the game.  Where it counts are with the people we respect and love.  These are our true friends and family.  They deserve every ounce of honesty we can give them.  We have to keep their feelings in mind, but, in the grand scheme, lying is worse than sparing someone’s feelings.  I would rather someone tell me the truth and it hurt than to be lied to.  How will I ever make myself better if I don’t know or refuse to accept it.  Sometimes, it will not be easy.  Sometimes, we need a swift kick in the ass to understand and get going.  I apprecite the kick, though most times it hurts.

Also, we need to figure out who are friends are and defend them honestly.  We have to back them up wholeheartedly.  I am guilty of not always doing this, but I want to change.  I am trying to change.  But, again, it is hard and painful.  I needed a swift kick in the ass, and, last week, I got it.  I am appreciative because now I realize that I was not avoiding pain and making things easier.  I was making it all worse.  I was letting it stew.  No more.  I am going to try harder.  So should you.

Stay interested and interesting.

John

PS: If you can get your hands on full seasons of Entourage (HBO), watch them!  There are some great messages in there and it is a great show.