Some would have you believe that there is nothing to fear, but fear itself. Maybe they are right. For the rest of us, we have our rational and irrational fears that sometimes paralyze us and other times motivate us to improve. I was thinking about my formative years (crap! I am getting old…) and particularly about high school. I had fears of having to write more than two hundred and fifty words at once and, like 99.9% of all angst filled teenagers, a great fear of public speaking.

I have always read quite a bit, but before I finished high school, I was not what you would call a prolific writer by any means. Any assignment that required me to write more than a page was pure torture. I spent more time figuring out how I could possibly fill a page and less about the subject I was supposed to be writing about. Generally, this resulted in less than inspiring treatises on uninspiring subjects like my love for basketball or football. These are certainly noble athletic pursuits and I am still a fanatic today, but, in high school, we had not yet developed the philosophical view of the hardwood or the gridiron. Through college, I learned to structure my writing a little better and moved to longer endeavors, though the fear was still there.

My breakthrough in writing came during my work life. I found myself finally realizing that most people have no idea where to start and can not string together the few sentences in an email. To find someone who can write with clarity was a difficult task. It was from this realization that I starting practicing the creative writing techniques I had learned in college and finally all the lessons I had learned all came together and it dawned on me: I can write! Though I will let you be the judge of just how well… 😉

Public speaking was a fear that followed a parallel line to writing. If I was given five minutes to talk, I needed A LOT of filler. I was petrified to be in front of the class and say something stupid. I needed the approval of my peers. All the while, I failed to notice that most other people were just as afraid, or more, than I was. What’s more, not many people were any better than I was.

Once I started working, I had an epiphany. These skills, writing and speaking, are the key to success for many people and they are in short supply. I knew I had to improve and would force myself to practice whenever I could. My mantra would no longer be about filling time, but cutting back because I had too much to say. I would become the voice for those that could not find theirs. I would ask the questions everyone else had on their mind, but did not have the courage to utter. I would become the hero to the teeming masses! Ok, now I am getting carried away… 😉

Through all my trials and tribulations, I figured out that most people are not even willing to try. They back away and figure they will never be able to do it. They are afraid of looking stupid and what other people may think. My attitude changed first to defiance. I was angry about what other people thought and would prove them wrong. I was there to be better than any of them. It helped that I already had a good job and could console myself with the fact that I probably made double the money any of my classmates earned. Another argument I could pull out if backed in to a corner.

Finally, I saw that defiance was not what should be motivating me. I knew that I wanted to improve myself so that I could have more influence. I wanted to be the person people listened to and realized they would not do so through my force of will alone. They needed a reason and craved clarity and honesty. This brings us to the present day. I no longer fear writing or speaking in public. Preparation and knowledge are my allies, and very strong ones they are. Give me twenty minutes to speak and I will ask “is that all?”. Ask for fifteen pages and I will ask if I can have twenty. Just in case a clever idea comes up. I don’t need to prove to others that I am better than them anymore. I just need to prove it to myself.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. But know that I will keep writing, even if you didn’t. 🙂

Stay interested and interesting!

John

PS: For those of you counting, there are 800 words in this post. There is nothing to fear.